Forty-eight streets that I haven't walked
I find myself in the same spot hopples and homeless walking the streets for a temporary lapse of time but then will have a home for better or worse thank god for the guidelines. Let's not walk the opposite way without correcting myself along the way so let's walk closer to the beginnings I don't remember where I was born but I most likely had my next in line came to live close to that spot as I now realize. so what else do I have to do now? as I remember I never knew but I knew that my own greatness will bring me back to the same place I needed to escape from both physically and psychically. I now understand I took a wrong turn that brought me back to understand what I wasn't understanding in the first place although it is not very important I think I am beyond the moment that a needed to need myself because only know I am in the position of understanding where I needed to be and what I needed to understand so this is my letter to my younger self when I needed to understand my purpose in life more than ever:
Dear Valy
I know you hate being called that name and that you act cool accepting it but you know love will be channeled through it by your loved one's either way even if it is a weird one, feelings and attention are sincere and you will eventually overcome it or it will make you overcome your self making you a lucky bastard. you will eventually finish school and if I may say something you overstressed it and you took grades to personally but in the end, you finished it you could have done a better job but you did it anyway, you have done something more than going to school at a point you find school fun but you still need to work on that which is a good thing you can always go back and continue the fun when you will have time. now you are working it's nice but it has the potential to be exponentially better. you traveled a lot and it was great I hope I will travel the world at least where I traveled until now. by the way, you had your time of freedom and it was great but it had the reverse you needed to be free when you realised yourself from a burden that stripped you of your environment but you always have a crush plan and that makes you sometimes lucky by controlled circumstances, some things are a thing now like buying lots of stuff that sometimes you don't need but it is a way to realize the stress of the useless stress and afford that you put in at work, I know that you feel pressured to be mean to you sister because she is a girl and you are a boy but don't be stupid your sister followed you when life seemed it reached a dead end you're gave meaning to the word supported by family only by being there indifferent to the trouble being a sister was natural to her unlike you stupid were you a real brother to your sister if you where more like an disgraceful nenemy you should take a rock and hit youre self but if you are and should be a real brother you shud crush the enemies of your sister ivan if it crushes you insted at leas you would have done your job of the brother? so take youre shit autside and far away with you did and it was great you shoudn have done it but as it seems now i dont know eventualy it happend to everybody that doesnt ask for too much and surprise you got maried se seamed perfect but something changed girls are like onions dressed like tasty apples nice to see but bad to eas and to late after you take a byte youre wife gave you a sun he is great but you where fuly apsent working on youre freedom and his but he is to yung to understand and this letter may be valid for him to if he finds it worthy he is a realy nice dud but not so frendly but he understands that i realy care for him and nou you are discovering you have a daughter and this is uncharter realm so on this matter i will come back to you later. I have bad news I don't know how this will affect you before it happens but you're grandparents you should show them how much you care for them because their time goes faster than yours and give them the advice to take it easier and be there for them more than for yourself you should be there for them because when you chose yourself you lose them. this is it, for now, it all be good and everything painful ore hard will pass fast, and everything you will need it will be done enjoy life and don't worry you will find great friends but you should be careful because friends have samurai blades hidden and your lack of interest in their personal life will go against you then you will get absently involved in it cutting both ways.
by the way, I forgot to tell you about your hobbies you will like puzzles don't ask me how you will love books almost too late you will love movies and you should keep a list because you will lose their number you will love anime manga(will understand later) and japan for a too short period of time because it needs time to be invested in and sports and football actually you are a very fast runner and a very aggressive player witch is both not good and good. you will lose a lot of time precious time energy and life and opportunities and concentration and respect and self-respect and gain body odors by concentrating and searching for girls all the time there are way more fun ways to live life and not get bored don't get lost in girl addictive stuff you may understand sooner or later what I mean.
this is all I think. don't lose faith, never underestimate or disrespect your faith you are not an atheist you just have a lot of unanswered questions that eventually will be answered in full detail don't worry.
P:S: you are not stupid you are just dyslexic it will be ok don't get lazy fight it and when you get tired just take a nap. you should keep a diary it's fun. you will have a car thank your mother for me, see eventually she is a nice lady don't get confused everybody cares about you but not too much in the end.
time passes really fast keep up the good work. a lot of by the ways happened in your life that is worthy of mentioning but up there at the top is traveling and doing to monasteries don't get confused just heads up when you have the chance to encounter them
